Children adapt aggressive behaviour from TV, movies and games. Here’s how you can handle them...

My friend has a five-year-old son who has recently become quite aggressive with other children. He has adopted an ‘I don’t care’ attitude. He is demanding which scares his mother and puts off other children. Aggressive behaviour can be one of the most challenging issues parents and teachers face. It’s a shock to us the first time our sons and daughters lash out and hurt someone. Before tackling the problem, take a deep breath, relax and realise that aggressive behaviour is normal in young children.

All children have moments when they lash out in anger by swearing, shouting, hitting and biting. Most mothers try to control the child from being aggressive by overpowering them, by taking a position of authority, or by intimidation, you are using a form of aggression as a way to stop it. You teach the very behaviour that you are attempting to eliminate.
An important first step is to understand the underlying cause of aggression.

WHY ARE SOME KIDS SO AGGRESSIVE?
Children become aggressive in order to release pent-up anger, to control a situation, to show power or to win a toy squabble.
Children adapt aggressive behaviour from TV, movies, and games. This has been demonstrated convincingly in the research.

The child may have behavioural or Attention Deficit Hyper-Activity disorder.
Parental practices that can be associated with aggressive behaviour in children include:
Harsh discipline
Marital discord among parents
Lack of encouragement and positive reinforcement

TIPS TO HANDLE AN AGGRESSIVE CHILD
Watch for triggers. Are there particular events that set your child off ? If you start to see when, you can sometimes work out why.
Allow children to feel freely. Encourage them to verbalise their feelings, and use questions to help him/her put into words what's really bothering him/her or what he/she really wants.

Your child needs time to relax. Overstimulating your child may make him/her tense and tired and eventually trigger feelings of aggression. A swimming class to a tennis lesson and then ending the day with a drawing lesson; too many activities are hectic for a child.

The most important part of handling an aggressive child is to keep calm. Deliberately ignore inappropriate behaviour. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore the child, just the behaviour.

Provide physical outlets and other alternatives.
Be ready to show affection. Sometimes, all that is needed for any angry child to regain control is a sudden hug or show of affection.
Parents need to make sure that they do not encourage jealousy among their children. Treating them alike will lessen sibling rivalry.

Sometimes, a child’s aggression requires more intervention than a parent can provide. If your child seems to behave aggressively more often than not, if he/she seems to frighten or upset other children, or if your efforts to curb his/her behaviour have little effect, talk to your child’s doctor, a counsellor or psychologist.

Source: TNN

|