As a white candle in a holy place,
So is the beauty of an aged face
- Joseph Campbell

There is this story of a man who treated his old mother very badly. One day, he took his son to a forest and started digging a grave. His son, who was very fond of his grandmother, asked his father why was he digging a pit. The father told him that he wanted to bury the old lady in the pit as she was of no use to them. The son looked at his father and then took a spare spade and started digging another grave, a little away from where his father was digging. Surprised, his father asked the son why was he digging another grave. At this the son promptly replied, "I am digging the grave for you. One day you would also become old like granny and would be of no use to me. Then I would have to come and bury you. So, I have started digging the grave now only." At this the father realized his folly and started looking after his mother.

In the story, the man realizes his fault and makes amends but in reality how many of us do that? Today, the world is shrinking so is the size of our families. From joint families we have moved to nuclear families where there is place only for the husband, wife and their child. Anyone else is an extra. Even the old parents who have given up their life bringing us up become an appendage, an unnecessary bondage. In your whirlwind lifestyle where do you have time for these old people who have nothing else but memories to live upon? You kids too don't have time for them or for their stories. Gone are the days of listening to bedtime stories from grannies or going on nature walk with grand pa. This is the generation of the MTV and computer games.

Due to this changing scenario in our social structure, we find more and more old age homes mushrooming in each city. After all, we are civilized people, we can't let our old people die destitutes, so we make arrangements for them in old age homes. They will be happy there among people of their age and would be taken good care of - we justify our conscience. So what if they are lonely and only need you by their side? So what if they spend each evening by the window waiting for you to come? So what if all their waking moments are spent thinking of you?

Swapna, a 19-year-old girl, an orphan who stays with her uncle, narrates a sad tale.

"My grandmother is languishing in an old age home in Hosur. She is physically weak and mentally deranged. The reason for this state of my grandmother is my uncle, who always thought that his mother was a burden on him. Finally, one day he had her moved to an old age home. My grand ma could never come to terms with the fact that her son whom she loved the most had bundled her off to an old age home. Slowly her senses began to fail her. I was too young then, to comprehend the gravity of the situation. Now, that I have grown up, I make it a point to visit my grandmother every week. I spend time with her, take her out for a walk, read to her and try to make her happy and cheerful. I have made up my mind that the day I get a job and a house of my own, I will take her home." There are a very few Swapnas today.

However, sometimes old age homes become necessary and a way to better life. Yes, it sounds like an irony but it is true. There are a number of old people who are leading a lonely, miserable life in their own homes. Their children, all grown up, are busy making their own lives in different parts of the world. Their only connection with their children is through the telephone. Nobody is there to look after them, take them to doctor if they fall ill, buy them medicines and run errands. In such cases it is better to relocate them in good old age homes. At least there they would have some company, there would be a helping hand to hold them, lest they falter.

The old perishes and gives way to the new and the cycle continues. So is the law of nature. Let's not forget that. The wrinkled face, which looks up at us with hope, was once a bright ambitious face. And the young, lively face that looks down with indignation will one day become old. No anti wrinkle cream can stop the wheels of time.

Below is a list of some of the old age homes in Bangalore:

Ashakta Poshaka Sabha
VVPuram
Fees: none
Phone: 6508325

Catherine Nivas
Vidyanagar, Bangalore North
Fees: For the first probationary month, the cost is Rs 130 per day. Later it is Rs 2500 a month
Phone: 8467218

Janashram Home for the Aged
Bannerghatta Road
Fees: The monthly mess fees is Rs 600. A refundable deposit is to be paid before admission which is Rs 7200.
Phone: 558 4100 / 559 4457

Thirth Ashram
Puttenhalli Village
JP Nagar
Fees: Rs 40,000 deposit, Rs 10,000, Donation and Rs 2000 per month
Phone: 667 6004 / 665 5455

Sevashram Trust
Kengeri Uttarhalli
Fees: None
Phone: 660 0552/ 669 1478

Cleatas Home for the Aged
Thavarakere Road
Fees: Rs 40,000 deposit which is partially refundable. Rs 3000 per month
Phone: 553 1617

Aryajana Seva Trust
MG Road
Fees: Rs 1200 refundable deposit and Rs 600 monthly
Phone:558 4100 / 558 4321

Nightingale Home Health Services
Sadashivnagar
Fees: Rs 100 per monthly subscription fees
Phone: 334 3062 / 334 0369

Deepa with inputs from Shravanti Pictures: Ravindra Nayak.C.H.

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